The Truth About the Birds and the Bees

When I look at her, I still see so much innocence in her 10 year old eyes. I see her playing with toys and coloring pictures and snuggling her stuffed animals to fall asleep at night. I see a young girl who loves to play in the backyard and still leaves the dinner table with pizza sauce in the corner crevices of her mouth. I see a little girl who still reaches for my hand – only once in awhile – but always wants to cuddle with me at night. 

What I don’t see is a girl who is ready to know what we know. I don’t see someone who should know a boy who degrades little girls and treats her with little regard for her true worth. I don’t see someone who should know the difference between oral sex and vaginal sex. No, not my little girl. It’s not time, I’m not ready for this yet. 

The problem is that my time is not everyone else’s. Kids are learning at different paces and in different environments. They are seeing and hearing things that she isn’t. And that leaves opportunity for her to learn things on someone else’s watch that I wasn’t ready to teach. 

Whether we like it or not – whether we’re ready or not – our kids will find out the truth of things we try to protect them from until we believe they are ready. But it won’t be our truth. It will be distorted versions of what other children believe sex to be. It will be degrading, photoshopped pictures of other little girls with vegetable emojis portraying what they believe sex to be. Those photos will be sent through Snapchat and other forms of social media. These distorted truths can be found anywhere, and believe me, our children will search for them. They will hear words and phrases from their peers. They will read those words and phrases on the bathroom walls of their school. These distorted truths about sex and how and when it should happen will not hide from our kids. And their tiny little innocent minds that are like sponges will soak it all in believing that it must be true because someone else told them so. 

So parents, I urge you to speak your own truths about sex to your kids before they learn about someone else’s truth. Because if you’re not teaching them, someone else will. If you’re not talking about it, someone else is. If you’re not open to it, someone else will be. And someone else’s distorted truth about sex will quickly become their own. 

Parents, teach your girls to KNOW their worth. To demand respect and to be intolerant to boys who treat them any less than the queens that they are. Parents, teach your boys to speak with kindness. To know and understand empathy and compassion. Teach them boundaries and respect. Cultivate conversations and model acceptable behaviors. You guys, our children are watching and listening. It all starts at home, with us. Their futures, their character, who they become and who they believe themselves to be all depends on us⚡️