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Ripping off the Band-Aid
I couldn’t find anything to wear that morning. I was frantically throwing clothes around my bedroom knowing that I didn’t have any more time to spare before racing to work. It was supposed to be warm that day so I dumped my Tupperware tote full of summer clothes out onto my bedroom floor and there laid my wardrobe from the last two summers. I could barely catch my breath as dreadful memories flooded my mind. Patterned, spaghetti strap dresses that once fit my perfectly round belly and shorts now 4 sizes too big merited as a painful reminder of what once was; of what was supposed to be.
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Weeding Out the Garden
I don’t have the gift of a green thumb. I once attempted to plant a garden with high hopes of having succulent watermelons and cucumbers, bright red tomatoes and a plump orange pumpkin to show off on the front porch when the leaves began to fall. I planted the garden right behind our garage without considering how much daylight my little patch of fruit and veggie seeds would receive. When midafternoon came around each day that summer, the sun had already made its rotation to sit behind the trees and the side of our house, only shining on one end of the garden. By the end of the summer the…
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“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” –Maya Angelou I lived a dozen different lives in 2016. It was a year that I eagerly anticipated and just as readily said goodbye to. There was a moment just before Christmas that I reflected back on the last year of my life and I said to myself that I couldn’t wait to start over. “It’s been a really bad year,” I thought. I’ve never been one to rush into a new year with negative thoughts from the one before. But in that moment I thought about the lives…
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Hope for the Holidays
Each year there is a world wide candle lighting service held to honor all children who left this world too soon. I was invited to attend the local service held in our town and was honored to give a speech to our community of grieving families. While it is difficult to take my own advice and inspiration at times, I find it incredibly healing to offer support and encouragement to others. This holiday season has been hard. I’m grieving the memories I should be making with my sons. I am envious of the pregnancy announcements and other women’s ability to carry to a child. I am grateful for the life I have…
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The Innocence Inside a Box of Crayons
When I was younger I remember the excitement of opening a brand new box of crayons and pressing a freshly sharpened stick of pigmented wax to a piece of paper to create a masterpiece that was fitting to my imagination. I have watched that same anticipation in my daughter with a new box of crayons since I trusted her to color on paper and not the walls. And every year since being old enough to go to school, we go shopping for supplies and I watch her as she eagerly chooses a fresh box of crayons to bring to her new classroom. This year in particular she chose with greater intent because “Mama…
